Why No One Accepts Me Into Their Parenting Circles

My husband, toddler, and I go to the chiropractor regularly.

We go to McDonald's sometimes. My 2 year old loves their fries.

My daughter and I don't eat dairy. We buy almond milk, sorbet, Earth Balance, etc.

I have no problem letting my daughter have cake at birthday parties or candy on Halloween.

I check labels for preservatives and artificial sweeteners when we go grocery shopping. (And I have known how to pronounce hydrogenated oil since I was 8 hahahah.)

I never wore my daughter. (Interested in figuring it out with any future children we may have, though!)

I'm still breastfeeding my 2 year old. (And I was breastfed until I was 7 myself!)

I didn't use cloth diapers. (Again, I am very interested in this for my future kids!) But I always search for the biodegradable disposable diapers.

I pierced my daughter's ears when she was 14 months old. (Now that I'm more educated, if I have another daughter, I won't do it again. But I don't really regret it, it has caused my little one no problems and she likes them.)

I don't believe in circumcision. I feel that it's infant torture and genital mutilation. However, I don't blame mothers who do circumcise. I feel absolutely nauseous when I think about a baby boy being circumcised but I don't fault the mother for her beliefs. I think it's just sad that mothers think this is normal and healthy for their little boys.

I am a lactivist! I am like super lactivist. I post pro-breastfeeding things on my Facebook. I nurse in public all the time. BUT I don't hate formula. I used formula to supplement. I don't think formula is poisonous or the devil. I don't look down on formula feeders. If they tried to breastfeed and failed, 99% of the time it was due to lack of support from family, friends, society in general, and the medical personal they turned to for help. If they did not even try, it was probably due to the extreme disapproval of others, and the fact that many view it as obscene. I'm sure hardly a single mother chose formula for a selfish reason.

Half the time, my daughter sleeps in my bed with my husband and I, and occasionally a dog or two. I do try to get her to sleep in her own bed, though. We are not strict about it but we do like our own space sometimes. =P

I don't believe in cry it out or any sort of sleep training.

I love the outdoors and I think we need daily fresh air to be healthy. We love to go on nature walks as a family.

I do let my daughter watch tv, as long as it's geared toward kids her age.

I don't believe in spanking, yelling, threatening, scaring, or lying to a child. I do believe in discipline, rules, and clear limits. For punishment, I do time outs where we go sit away from everyone else and do nothing.

I am all for gay rights. I have gay friends and family members and they are close to my daughter. I don't think they are a bad influence or anything. Also, I am bisexual, and I am open about it.

I am for women's rights, but see nothing wrong with stay at home moms. I think women genetically might actually be meant to stay at home and take care of the home and raise children. I would fight right along side of Susan B. Anthony, if I had the chance, for a woman's right to work and vote. I completely respect and admire working moms, and I want to have a career myself, but sometimes I feel a deep pull to just stay home and raise children.

We have a selective, delayed vaccine schedule.

We try to eat as healthy as possible, but can't afford to go all the way, so we pick and choose. And I don't mind if my husband gets his beef jerkey and chips, that's his choice and it brings him happiness. I will buy a pastry from 7-Eleven when I get a craving, too. ;)

We limit meat eating but are not planning on going fully vegetarian.

We use homeopathy. I love Rescue Remedy!!! And Hyland's Teething Tablets are amazing. We try to avoid conventional medicine, but we don't avoid it like the plague or anything.

I drink coffee, even though I'm breastfeeding. I don't see it affecting my daughter, and I'm really addicted to it, so I don't see the point in stopping. It just causes me to have bad headaches when I do. I don't know how I managed to stop while pregnant and for most of the first year of breastfeeding!

We're not religious. My husband is agnostic. I am very spiritual. I was raised Jewish, I have studied Judaism, Christianity (a few sects of it, anyway), Wiccanism, and Paganism. I've sort of settled on just being very into positive energy and recognizing a higher power but not knowing what it is exactly. I pray, send good energy into the universe, and do the occasional spell (similar to a prayer but with metaphorical items to help convey the message).

I saw a midwife when I was pregnant. I didn't feel comfortable with a home birth or a hospital birth. I wanted something in the middle so I was going to have her in a birthing center. However, we had a car accident when I was at 42 weeks and ended up having to do an emergency induction to make sure she didn't have any injuries. (She was born perfectly healthy, vaginally, by the way!) I am set on having a natural birth at home next time around!!!!!! I do want some tests done during pregnancy to make sure everything is alright, though.

I probably have a mental disorder or two, but I don't believe in psych meds, at least not for myself. I think its a personal decision and I don't want it for myself. Sometimes when I get depressed, and my husband and daughter must deal with it, I feel guilty and begin to consider maybe seeing a psychiatrist. SO, we'll see what happens with that!

And last but not least, I have 2 dogs and a chinchilla. One of my dogs is a pit bull. Yes, I let them around my daughter. All 3 of our pets have yet to hurt her and I think growing up caring for animals is important.

See? I don't fit in anywhere! What's a semi-crunchy mama to do?


Priscilla said…
I like your blog. You know, who wants to fit in to any circle anyway. I think being a Mom is all about learning and changing as is right for your family at that moment.
Camilleta said…
Thanks. =) You're right, that is something we should all realize!
Jen Law said…
I read your list thinking "yep, I do that, thats me" and "why do people have a problem with that?", I understand how it feels, we have been living in Hungary for the last year where we have failed to make a single friend. Its only 2 weeks unrtil we start moving back to Finland wer we have a wonderful bunch of friends that dont fit.
Camilleta said…
Yeah, it's hard being surrounded by a group of friends who thinks your parenting and life choices are weird. I'll let you know when I have some good advice! Lol.
Ah, the life of being somewhere in the middle. It's gotten easier for me over time, but I can definitely relate. I guess somewhere along the line I just stopped worrying about fitting in to anyone else's mold. Easier said than done!

I didn't babywear with my first either, but I have nearly every day with my second (he's almost 15m old). I'm a huge advocate of it now!
Camilleta said…
It makes me feel a lot less alone that there are other people in the middle, even if they don't live anywhere near me! =) And yes, I am looking at slings and carriers for my second right now (even though we are not yet pregnant lol).

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