5 Diets =)

People have always asked me how I stay skinny. I am not actually that thin anymore, but whatever, I guess I am compared to some people... Well, here are 5 diets that have worked for me. Knock yourself out!

1. The grow extremely tall, extremely fast diet: spend your childhood and teen years growing upwards until your taller than all the boys in your class. Eat all the time but do not gain enough weight to even grow boobs at age 16. Admire your pointy knees and elbows in the mirror daily before school.

2. The morning sickness diet: Get pregnant, become too sick to consume anything, and throw up everything you do consume. You will look totally hot, if not pale and anemic, until you hit about 4 months. Then your stomach will quickly grow to the size of a watermelon. Details, details.

3. The 7-of-my-teeth-are-rotten-and-need-to-be-pulled diet: Inherit bad teeth from your dad and then have a fear of the dentist. You will live in constant pain, but will lose a lot of weight because you have to live on soup broth.

4. The I'm allergic to everything diet: Decide you are sick and tired of living with allergies and stop eating all food you're allergic to. This means you will basically live on spelt bread, vegetables, and rice milk. Not the kind of stuff you feel compelled to over-eat.

5. The eat healthy food and exercise regularly diet: I've never personally tried this diet because it sounds boring. But I hear it works, so why don't you give it a shot?

6. The Whatever Diet. Seen below. Throw out your scale and eat whatever you want and just pretend to be thin. This is by far the best diet ever, well it's my favorite anyway!


Comments

THANKS for the morning smile!!!! LOVE IT!!!
Working Mommy said…
Thankfully (or not, I'm not sure) I was never on the morning sickness diet...phew!

wm
Kristina said…
Cute! I am familiar with the allergy diet as well.
rebecca said…
You are too funny with the last one. We changed up our diets and excersie and only eat all healthy now. Anything that seems to go bad within three days is all we buy and started making our own juices. No store bought stuff anymore. My husband has lost 50 pounds so far in a few months and I lost 16 pounds in about 6 weeks however, now being pregnant, the weight is slowly gaining it's way back so everything I lost is now back again :( bummer right?

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