1. I love hearing the question, "She's still breastfeeding?" over and over and over from everyone I meet, even if they asked me this question last month.
2. I enjoy the looks I get from strangers when my child yells, "BOOBS! NOW!" in public. I find this kind of attention amusing and entertaining.
3. I like having an energetic, acrobatic toddler latched onto a sensitive part of my body while I'm trying to do my homework so that I accidentally keep writing 'ouch' instead of the word I was trying to.
4. I want to remain tethered to my child forever, unable to leave her for more than 3 hours lest she start wailing for her nursies.
5. I want to raise her to be dependent on me forever so that she never leaves me to go to college because then I will be lonely.
6. I'm too cheap to buy her real food and drinks. And too lazy to prepare anything.
7. I'm trying to break a record for longest breastfed child in my family. My mother currently holds this record, she breastfed me for 7 years! Maybe if I beat that, I can go for the world record! What is that, 12? Cool!
8. I am an exhibitionist. Breastfeeding in public is a great chance for me to "accidentally" show off some boobage! =D
9. I like confrontation. I always hope a restaurant manager or pool employee will ask me to leave their premises so I can cuss them out.
10. I have always had this secret desire to get arrested. I'm not sure what the laws are where I live but I hear it's becoming illegal to breastfeed your 2 year old in some areas. Awesome, now I don't have to rob a bank, just give my kid a quick comfort nurse and bam, my dream can come true!
|Nursing on vacation in Mexico!|