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Hotmail has been having an error every 5 seconds whenever I try to check my email, so I'm just now commenting people back who have commented me in the past... I don't know. Things have been kind of hectic, lol.

You know what? New beginnings don't always have to start January 1. I feel like my New Year started on January 14. After a horrible Friday the 13, (coincidence, probably...), the next day really felt like a new time in my life. After the crazy day before where I lost 2 friends and had a fight with my grandma, I made some realizations.

My husband is really awesome. Ok, I already knew that. But that night, when he made me feel better after an AWFUL day, I was reminded... I am just so lucky to have someone who always knows how to make me feel better. After I was calmed down, the conversation headed off in another direction, and we decided to try again for another baby. =) =)

So then, the next day, my Grandma came over and I made up with her. I think hanging up on her actually helped our relationship. She realized I can't handle her yelling at me over not calling her and that's why I don't call her very often. It's a bad cycle. I think/hope she will remember this for at least a few weeks before she gets back into her old ways. I know I'm going to remind her more firmly from now on. Not yell and hang up on her per se, but just not putting up with it like I usually do, and telling her it's not ok and to stop.

Ever since that day, I'm had really strong sense of closure for the 2 friends I lost. I feel like I really tried my best to make it work and there was nothing more I could do. It's like a huge sense of relief to let them go now. I have been friends with them, on and off, for like 5 or 6 years. They were huge stressers for me this whole time and I really feel like I will have a lot less bi-polar episodes now that they are out of the picture.

Life has been pretty awesome the past few days. I hope it keeps up. I'm thrilled to be feeling optimistic about life again. And so excited to start trying for a baby again!

Comments

I'm so glad everything has been better for you. Hope it keeps up.

YAY for trying for baby number 2!!! Sending all my good luck vibes your way! :)
Clearly I must have missed most of the story... I'm so sorry you lost your baby. I hope it all goes well for you from now on.
Thanks Jessy and Tat!! ^_^

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