I haven't been online in weeks, probably the longest time since we first moved in here and didn't have a computer yet. If you know me, you know how unlike me is it lol. I've been really sick, to the point where I was too dizzy to stand up long enough to take a shower. It was pretty bad. The house was WRECKED. I've been starting to feel better in the past week, but I've been using the energy on Kaylee and keeping the house clean. I have emails to check, blogs to catch up on, and friends to catch up with, but I'm still feeling crappy. The fatigue is getting better but the nausea is actually getting worse. I've read that's normal for 10 weeks and I should start to feel better when I hit the second trimester. I've been having some really frustrating insurance problems, so I haven't been to the doctor yet. Right when I found out I was pregnant, I got something in the mail saying I need to renew my insurance. -_- Talk about bad timing. I got the paperwork in and everything and now I'm just waiting for it to reactivate. It should be any day now, and it better happen before May 17, which is when my midwife appointment is. I swear I will have a cow if they don't process it by then. Its supposed to take 30 days max and pregnant women are supposed to have priority. I talked to the midwife and she said 11 and a half weeks is fine for a first appointment, but I'm still freaking out. I just feel so emotionally torn, like I can't get attached to the baby until I know its alive and well in there. After 2 miscarriages, I'm just beginning to feel like all the suffering isn't worth it, and I'll never actually have another baby. I want to be in happy pappy prego mode already. Hopefully, in a few weeks, I will be!!