First Dentist Appointment

Kaylee had her first dentist appointment yesterday. The news was not good. She has cavities.

After the appointment, the first thing the dentist told me was cut out white flour and sweets as much as possible. I didn't want to cause an argument but was genuinely concerned on how I could help Kaylee not get anymore cavities, so I told her we don't buy any white flour products already, and sweets are very limited. So she went on to tell me I should limit snacks of all types and limit fruits. I said that Kaylee's doctor wanted her to eat as much healthy food as possible because she had some issues with gaining weight. But she didn't really have anymore advice for me, she didn't seem like she was in too good of a mood at that point.

I felt so horrible, like she was blaming me for this, and completely doubting my desire to do better in the future. I have brushed Kaylee's teeth every day since she had one half of a tooth poking out of her gums. I admit there were some days where she fell asleep and I didn't get in her night brushing. But I am very into eating healthy. I get whole grain products, try to buy organic, wash fruits and veggies before we eat them, make sure everyone in the family takes multi-vitamins, do not buy junk food or candy, etc.

My mom raised me to be healthy, she used to be a personal trainer who also studied nutrition. We only shopped at health food stores growing up and I do it as much as possible now, given our lack of funds. So to be treated as if we lived on white bread and candy... It didn't feel too good. I told myself I wasn't taking it personally but by the end, I felt close to tears. And I wanted to tell her NO you awful woman, I will NOT starve my kid in between meals, I'd rather her grow up to have dentures! Yeah, I guess I get a little dramatic when upset lol.

I got a referral to get Kaylee's cavities filled and left feeling pretty upset because I have no clear game plan. I don't know how to proceed now because I can NOT bring myself to deny her food if she's hungry. I couldn't tell any kid no if they were hungry, let alone a kid who has had so much trouble gaining weight for the past year. My pediatrician was this close to diagnosing her with failure to thrive!! But at least my pediatrician never makes me feel like we as parents are to blame, she knows and appreciates that we're doing the best we can.

All I can think now is we'll do away with grazing. I'll offer food at certain times throughout the day and take them away if they're not finished. I will give her an extra snack if she requests it, but if she wanders off, I'll take it away. I'll brush her teeth twice a day since I was told anymore can actually be BAD for the gums, and any fruit will be shortly before I'm going to brush her teeth. I think what I'm going to have to do is really go with my gut and my own research on this, instead of listening to the word of her dentist and doctor... Because obviously, I can't listen to both if they disagree!

Oh and did I mention I'm freaking out about her being put under to get the cavities filled. Oy vey, motherhood is so stressful sometimes! There's so much joy, but it comes with so much worry...

Comments

Mary said…
I hate when people make you feel that way. I had a very familiar experience with a lactation specialist. She made me feel like a failure because I couldn't breast feed, but with premmie twins the deck was stack against me! Do what you feel is best and if it continues find another dentist who is willing to work with you!
Carole said…
Some medical type people have absolutely zero idea how to communicate appropriately - generally because of their ingrained arrogance. You just do your thing, Camille. A few little cavities is nothing.
Jessica.B said…
Just go with your gut. It will lead you in the best direction for your daughter. In the past I've had doctors that made me feel like crap. I switched to a new doctor. I feed my son what he'll eat. He's already small for his age & if I only gave him what was 'healthy' & nothing else- he'd never gain weight.

-Jessica
{Sugar in My Grits}
Michelle said…
Aw no! My brother and sister and I all ate the same food, my brother was always getting things done at the dentist and my sister and I have never had anything done. Pete was put under anesthetic when he had glass taken out of his foot, I was freaking out but at least I know now he's okay with it now. Did you read that link about cavities I posted a while ago? You could give that a go. Yay for going with your gut :)
Michelle said…
found it http://www.project.nsearch.com/profiles/blogs/how-i-healed-my-child-s-cavity
Kristina said…
Sorry you were so upset! Hopefully the dentist wasn't meaning to criticize you. You can only do the best you can and it sounds like you are doing that! I am kind of surprised that the dentist even suggested diet stuff. Wow! I've never had one do that (other than say, less candy). I have heard of people healing their cavities though--am trying to do it myself. Have a link here: http://www.thehealthyhomeeconomist.com/how-i-healed-my-childs-cavity/
Kate Campbell said…
I feel for you. It is hard when we get judged on one small piece of information, and people don't know the whole story. Is Kaylee a mouth breather? One of my kid's was. This can cause them to have a lot more problems with their teeth. If she is, it may be worthwhile seeing an ear, nose and throat doctor. Hope you find a solution soon.
Kristen said…
Awe, Camille, I would have felt exactly the same. My 3 year old is only in the "TWO" percentile and is always considered very small for her age. Who cares!?! Don't let the medical field tell you how to parent your babies. You do what you and your family feel are the best. Do your research and see what you can change. Don't go without snacks but maybe find a better snack as far as what might help with preventing cavaties? I dunno, now I'm terrified to take my 3 y. o. We were just talking to someone about it. I noticed I missed a couple days on brushing her teeth and she literally had FUR on her teeth :( They were really yucky. And I think they look kinda yellow. We are the same as you stated though; no white products, only whole grains, no candy, no junk (except chips, because she LOVES LOVES them) and only milk and water to drink. So yeah, I'm freaking out now, too. lol. I'll probably be in the same seat with ya. Just take a deep breath. Remember whatever happens, she'll forget in a week anyhow. Just remain strong for her. You can handle this.

~Kristen
mamawinkle.blogspot.com
Kerry Fountain said…
If you don't feel comfortable with this dentists mood or behavior, I would look into a second opinion. I have had to do that a couple times with my kids. Once I tried to take my daughter to a new children's dentist closer to home. After the first very expensive visit, they determined she needed over $1,000 worth of work with them plus a root canal. I took her back to her old children's dentist (who is 40 miles away) and she didn't need half that work. They also said my youngest had several cavities and he didn't. Scary stuff.

Also-- my oldest son and daughter both were diagnosed with some sort of bacteria in their mouths that cause cavities. It isn't always the sugar and food they eat. My oldest son always shunned sweets and still have tons of cavities. He ended up having to use some mouth wash and brush a lot. He now never has cavities and hasn't since he was 7 or 8 years old.
Marina said…
Well, the dentist is stupid if she made you feel that way.. It's not your fault, some people just have weaker teeth then the others. Don't worry, do what you think is right!
Oh no! Cavities are sneaky. I hadn't had any for years, didn't change my diet or habits - and earlier this month was told I have 2. Don't blame yourself, just continue to do the best you can.
Veronica Lee said…
I think you've done everything you possibly can. I would look for a more understanding dentist if I were you.

Have a great Sunday!
Clairejustine said…
Aww bless I hate dentist :( thanks for linking up to welcome to the weekend hop :)
Pepper said…
Those so-called medical professionals should learn a thing or two about sensitivity to their patients' feelings...
I also freaked out when my then 4-year old daughter had her first tooth extracted. It went well. I know how much of a worrywart you are, but try to relax. Your daughter will be fine :)
Theresa said…
Awww, don't let that dentist make you feel bad. Some mouths just breed a little more bacteria than others. I don't think it's anything you are or aren't doing. But if you think that she could handle mouthwash, I would highly recommend the childrens anticavity (like ACT or storebrand). I've insisted my children use it every night since they were about 3, and so far, no cavities in either. Just supervise and make sure she isn't swallowing it.

Good luck with the fillings! After that, I would probably start looking for a new dentist though.
eilsel said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
eilsel said…
I think, you need to try finding a new dentist for your kid. Thank you for sharing your experience about that issue. Good luck!
greenwich dentist
Rachel said…
My mother is a dental hygenist... I will tell you that sometimes it does not matter how well/often you brush and floss, or how well you eat. Some people are born with softer enamel and are more prone to cavities. It stinks, but it doesn't mean you are a bad mom or are doing anything wrong!
Emily Guthrie said…
Ugh! That is the worst feeling when a Dr. or other professional makes a mom feel that way! Hang in there!
Kate Dunkin said…
I wouldn't put the blame on yourself, it sounds like the dentist was being unprofessional. My child's first dentist visit sort of went the same way, but I just researched what I could to improve and make sure there was no more cavities. Thank you for sharing your story with us!
Williams said…
Cavities are common among kids Kaylee's age, so you don't have to worry too much, Camille. :) You just have to be 'extra' watchful of her diet and oral hygiene. Sweets are okay, as long as they are taken in moderation. Kaylee may rinse with some water after munching on sweets. This way, food debris from those treats won't stick to the gaps between her teeth. :)

-Williams Schermer
Choosing the right pediatric dentist for your child is necessary because such dentists are specialized for child only. It is recommended to check up your kid's teeth time to time.

children dentist

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